The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Quaida, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends. The press called him on the lie about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Nigeria, and now Campbell Brown (NBC White House reporter) is threatening to sue him for the sexual innuendo he made to her at his recent press conference. So we're taking up a collection for him."
The lobbyist asked, "How much have you got so far?"
The officer replied, "About 14 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."