Chris (conjurdude) wrote,
Chris
conjurdude

  • Mood:

I just got this today...

I, George W. Bush, President of these United States of the Americas, pursuant to that pardon power thingy conferred upon me by Article II, Section 2, of that Constitution I keep hearing people go on about, have granted and by these presents do grant a full, free, and absolute pardon unto Chris Weigert — or as I like to call him, Buddha Polyp — for the crime of medium rare treason.

The aforementioned — not to mention the beforementioned — shall not be subject to any punishment for this crime, including a small fine, a medium fine or waterboarding. Well, maybe a little bit of waterboarding, but just for fun, ya know? Heh heh.

Being The Decider in Chief, I have hereby used my Decidering powers to declare that Chris Weigert is a faithful devotee of liberal, amoral atheism and is, as such, a technically decent but godless citizen of this great nation. To punish this person would set a dangerous precedent for many of my associates.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand today, on January 16, in the year of our Lord 2009 — which I totally cannot believe is actually here, and I still haven't gotten my hovercraft — and of the Independence of the United States of America.

God bless,
George W. Bush


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