Chris (conjurdude) wrote,
Chris
conjurdude

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Hi, my name's Christian and I'm a sexual wimp...

So I'm at the opening night cast party last night, and trying not to bemoan my lack of a love life, but a little self-pity sneaks out, and my friend Wil points out the fact that at this stage of the evening, as drunk as people are, I could probably walk into the house, grab a random girl, take her home and go wild.

Maybe I'm just weird, but that seems repugnant to me, even when I was drunk. Wil went on to say that there are times when your morals just stand in your way, and college is one of the few places that you can shrug them off and see what you want to set your new moral framework up to be. Again, this doesn't sound good to me...I can't fathom the idea of sex without love, but at the same time, shy and lazy as I am, there are moments that I really don't want to have to work for love and just want to go out and get some.

My roommate has been seeing this girl for about 3 or 4 weeks now...they're not really dating, more of fuck buddies. And since my roommate is kind of cocky (generally in a good way, though) I hear him "kiss and tell" quite frequently. And as I listen, I get this strange mixture of jealousy and disappointment in him. Jealousy because I really want to have sex (see what everybody's raving about) and disappointment in him, because he's one of my closest friends, and the idea of sex without emotional attachment just seems wrong. Not really morally wrong, but unfair to both parties.

So, anyway...yeah...that's my little speechifying segment for today...on the plus side, my show opened last night to rave reviews...but right now its kind of a small consolation.
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