Chris (conjurdude) wrote,

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probably my last journal entry for quite some time

well, since the court of public opinion has already ruled against me, and no one will bother to listen with an open mind to my side of the story, and since I honestly don't know who I can trust anymore, I don't think I'll be posting anything here for a long while. Maybe I'll get around to writing up how I've been destroyed by people who tell themselves they're helping me by doing what they're doing, or how when I extended a hand to try to make amends, it was pretty much slapped in handcuffs. Or how I shouldn't have been so courteous and said that I was coming down to Chicago because I wanted to talk things out, only to be greeted by a cold face and three policemen bearing a notice of an order of protection, booted unceremoniously out of my apartment, and informed via a third party that everyone is scared shitless of me thanks to the single time I lost control of my temper, which people seem to delight in inflamming, and actually physicalized my frustrations. Maybe I'll just keep everything inside me until I split into 7 or 8 different people. Maybe they'll be my friends...I'm sure i can trust them, since they'll be me. Oh wait, everyone is telling me I can't even trust myself.

Oh, and no, it wasn't me that posted anonymously to Roolet's LJ. It was my mother. she tends to do that. she did it with my last girlfriend, too. She's promised she won't do it again, but then again, she said that the last time, too. So the trust factor there, is way the hell down, too. She's the reason Roolet removed me from her friends list. Thanks, mom.

Y'know, the supreme irony is that before the two incidents, I was actually thinking things would work out ok. Before the showdown and excommunication on Tuesday night, I was feeling ok about things. I come back to my apartment, and get railroaded out of town. Then Friday I go down with the intent of apologizing, making financial reparations for the damage I've caused, and trying to move on with my life, and I discover Dan and Lisa have filed an "Order of Protection" against me. As though they actually thought I'd do them harm.

I guess they don't really know me at all if they believed I was capable of that.

  • (no subject)

    So, I'd spent the last month and some change worried that I'd done irreparable harm to a friendship that really does mean the world to me; I'm so…

  • Oh, hi there!

    Hey, there, LJ, I didn't see you come in... So yeah. It's been a looooooong time since my last update. TL;DR, I'm in California now. I relocated,…

  • (no subject)

    I miss California tremendously. I'm working on getting back there permanently. That is all (for now).

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