Chris (conjurdude) wrote,
Chris
conjurdude

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so after having a good talk with my friend Sara Walsh when I was in Chicago, I've been doing better with the whole Dan issue. that is, I haven't been dwelling on it at work and at home, I haven't had trouble falling alseep at night because my brain is rushing on the subject, stuff like that. the big reason is that SWalsh has known Dan even longer than I have, and I trust her judgement on pretty much any issue, especially on Dan. what amazed me is that she said that what he did to me makes her "hate his fucking guts." Her words. I broached the subject of Dan with her in the hopes that she'd be willing to call him and pick his brain on the subject of me. she declined, but I agree with her that it was for the best. And now, after talking with her, I'm not as neurotic about it as I was. I mean, I do still think about him, and Cheryl every now and then, but it's not constantly hammering away at my sanity.

However, I did have the idea to write to Dan's parents in an attempt to assure them that I don't want to kill or stab their son, and assure them that I'm not holding any grudges. but somehow, that makes me think they would suspect me even more. I dunno...I'm approaching the point of finally being able to just let it go for a while, and see how things are in September.

I did hear one other song lyric that seems appropriate to how my feelings, indeed, it seems to match them perfectly. Ren's probably gonna get all cranky that I still feel this way to some degree, but, oh well. :) the line's from "Barrytown" by Steely Dan.

"...though you're not my enemy, I'd like things like they used to be..."

ok...gonna go read now. and work tomorrow. whee.

*sends out some cyber-smoochies to his bunny*
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